How to rap in less than five minutes. It gets better after sixty seconds of reading.
You asked for it . . .
MaMa wrote:I just at poetry by the way.
Yeah, you also suck at proofreading too.
A rap song is poetry set to a STEADY beat. Yes, it’s poetry. You can have a piece that is correct in meter and rhyme, but it can suck in content, and it will still work. So you need a sold piece of poetry. That’s the foundation.
Damn you Mama, this is harder than it looks.
First order is to listen to rap to see how the people who get paid to do it, do it. Once you get the idea, you can emulate it. You’ll notice rhyme and a beat. Forget the words for now.
The rap will have a pattern to it. Usually the lines will have the same meter. Meter can mean that it has the same number of syllables or you cheat and change the value of the syllables so they words take up the same time to say. I don’t have all night to explain how poetry meter works so I’ll just do it this way.
You start with a STEADY beat, just like tapping your foot on the floor. Tap your foot now. Tap NOW! Do it nub! Start tapping . . . STEADY BEAT . . . tap, tap, tap, tap. Move your head to your tap and that way you won’t tap too fast. But keep the beat STEADY for this exercise to work.
Keep tapping as you read on . . .
Read the following poem out loud. OUT LOUD. It’s a poem by a dead guy who can’t sue me for copyright violation, because he’s been dead too long, and well, he’s dead. Keep tapping. Tap damn you, and rock your head to each tap.
There will be a switch-up, but keep reading. Out loud now, READ nub!:
Poem by A. E. Housman
[Intro]
Twenty, twenty, twenty
Twenty, twenty, twenty
[Part 1, verse]
When I was one-and-twenty
I heard a wise man say,
'Give crowns and pounds and guineas
But not your heart away;
Give pearls away and rubies
But keep your fancy free.'
But I was one-and-twenty,
No use to talk to me.
[Chorus]
Sing a song of sixpence,
A pocket full of rye,
Four and twenty blackbirds,
Baked in a pie.
[Part 2, verse]
When I was one-and-twenty
I heard him say again,
'The heart out of the bosom
Was never given in vain;
'Tis paid with sighs a plenty
And sold for endless rue.'
And I am two-and-twenty,
And oh, 'tis true, 'tis true.
[Chorus]
Sing a song of sixpence,
A pocket full of rye,
Four and twenty blackbirds,
Baked in a pie.
[Bridge]
When the pie was opened,
The birds began to sing.
Was this not a dainty dish
To set before the King?
[Part 3, verse]
When I was one-and-twenty
I heard a wise man say,
'Give crowns and pounds and guineas
But not your heart away;
Give pearls away and rubies
But keep your fancy free.'
But I was one-and-twenty,
No use to talk to me.
No use to talk to me.
And oh, 'tis true, 'tis true.
No use to talk to me.
And oh, 'tis true, 'tis true.
Word to your muthu, Gee. . .
*****Stop reading aloud, but KEEP TAPPING, head rockin’.
You’ll notice that the poetry is solid, so it works. Some rappers fiddle with the meter. Keep tapping and read the following, familiar rap, old school. DON'T STOP TAPPING:
I like big butts and I cannot lie
Now go and look up the lyrics on Google and stop at "Me so horny."
http://www.google.com/search?num=100&hl=en&lr=&q=I+like+big+butts+and+I+cannot+lie&btnG=Search
****Stop reading aloud but KEEP TAPPING. You’ll notice if you don’t know the song, the meter is all off. That’s because he cheated. He fiddled with the value of each line to fit the meter. Let’s try another. Keep tapping and read aloud with head rockin’. DON'T STOP TAPPING.
Here’s Tone Loc’s Wild Thing
Let's do it
Now go and look up Tone Loc's Wild Thing lyrics on Google and stop at "like to do the wild thing."
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=tone+loc+wild+thing
****Stop reading, but KEEP TAPPING. Doesn’t work as poetry does it? Same as above, he fiddled with the value of the words in the line. Keep tapping and read the following out loud, head rockin’.
Here’s Edgar Allan Poe’s The Raven:
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of someone gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
" 'Tis some visitor," I muttered, "tapping at my chamber door;
Only this, and nothing more."
****Stop reading. You’ll notice, that’s solid poetry, but not metered for rap. Even so, you probably found the meter fine and it worked once you figured it out. Not as smooth as the first one though. Okay, if you’re still tapping, stop tapping.
The reason is the first has a repeating pattern.
"When I- was one- and twen-ty."
"I heard- a wise- man say"
It goes:
"down up - down up - down up - down"
"down up - down up - down up"
It repeats with the last word of the second line rhyming with the fourth line and so on. Emulate this pattern or create your own and you’ll be able to rap. That’s it.
Here are the elements of a song, which will work for a rap song:
Intro
Verse 1
Chorus
Verse 2
Chorus
Bridge
Verse 3
[then fade, or gibberish, or talk about the honeys]
The bridge breaks up the song and prepares it to end. It’s different from the other parts and is short. Too complicated, just follow along.
As for subject matter, you’re on your own. I’ll give it a try with what I know you consider familiar with what I just showed you.
START TAPPING again, head rockin’ and read aloud:
[Intro]
Respawn, respawn, respawn
Respawn, respawn, respawn
[Verse 1]
I threw a nade across the bridge
to kill my foe with passion
I stopped to spray his ass again
in some familiar fashion
[Chorus]
2fort, 2fort, it’s the shit
I like naked porno
2fort, 2fort, this is it
I’m a slug in Bor-neo
[Verse 2]
He screamed aloud in utter pain
When his head exploded
I tried to stop him twice again
with my weapons loaded
[Chorus]
2fort, 2fort, it’s the shit
I like naked porno
2fort, 2fort, this is it
I’m a slug in Bor-neo
[Bridge]
Respawn, respawn, down you go
Respawn, respawn, feel my blow
[Verse 3]
I think I’ll try another path
the bridge is full of magnums
I’ll make them take a bloody bath
With this badass shot gun
Yeah, chicken orbs pwn
baby, I’m sizzlean . . . fade . . .
****Stop tapping.
That took like ten minutes to compose. And you try to find 2fort-related rhymes, I dare you. Now get to work, you slug.
So Whut, how about that Admiralty Corner now?
You should be more like Cantrip.
Twitchy: "I pulled a Cantrip . . ."
GivePeaceAChance: "If the Tempest had nipples, I'd pinch that shit."
Xylicon: "I'm about to deliver my [Richard] in your face for posting that stupid shit. "
WDF?: "He keeps reaming me... night after night... I'm rather sore."
GivePeaceAChance: "OMG MY NIPS ARE HARD"
llenta: "cantrip, you fail!!!"
Filliam H. Muffman: "i'm on top of dick"