Because it's kind of a bogus forum.


As for airplane food. Fucking hell. Growing up my mom would call a week in advance to Alaska airlines and order me and my brother hamburgers just the way we liked them. Plain. Nothing but ketchup (or catsup) and some fries on the side.


Then one day they told my mom they were no longer offering custom food orders. Our alternative was one day opening a mysterious McDonalds box containing the most rancid smelling "cheeseburger" I've ever encountered.


I didn't eat it. There weren't even fries. I ate the chips I guess. This burger was horrendous.


Dinner made the entire plane smell horrible. Can you imagine 200 people with mystery cheeseboogers in a circulated air environment. Fuck that noise.


But really, I should have been thankful I was getting a meal at all I suppose, of course, it was around the time of this transition to suck that they removed the headrest sheets that they would clean after every flight to prevent head lice. I was too busy dreaming about washing my scalp to be thankful for my barfburger.


But yeah, I should have been thankful.

Because then those meals went away. Pretty soon they weren't serving meals on shorter flights anymore. Now it was some peanuts. By some, I mean one bag. You could ask for more, but you always felt greedy. Everyone gets one.


But then some mother fucker had a fucking reaction to the peanuts. So what does the airline do? Do they add an alternative snack? No. They replace it with a clusterfuck bag of failmix. Everything in said bag of failmix, minus the pretzels, is fucking awful.

Also, the failmix has peanuts. Oh wait... no it doesn't. Fucking soy peanuts. What the fuck is that shit?

So some asshole ate a peanut and turned into a weather baloon at 30,000 feet so now over 9000 passengers have to suffer because one asshole forgot his epinephrine shot.


Thank fucking God I'm over 21 now. Now sometimes I get lucky and instead of failmix they just give me pretzels. Now I ask for more pretzels. Tons. I steal sleeping peoples pretzels. It provides me with the needed salt for when I buy out their mini-vodka supplies.



Cunts.