Buy her a pair of pants in her size when she was a freshman. Make sure they're expensive jeans or something.


Then look surprised when they don't fit her. "But I got them in your size... they should fit?!"


And if she's too thick to get the message then shove a vacuum cleaner tube up her ass and turn it on maximum winzilla mode to suck the fail out of those thighs!


Alternative: Tell her she's getting fat.

Just flat out do it.


If she breaks up with you, then she was a fail fuck anyway. I've found that hurt feelings are a good motivator.