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Rank: Fuckstick
Groups: {pDs} Member, Registered User, Server Admin
Joined: 11/8/2008
Posts: 161
Points: 249
Location: San Clemente
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So last night when my girlfriend got home she says shes not sure things are working out. This is mostly because of the depression and problems I have been going through for the last year. This hurt like hell. We have been together for 4 years now and I allready bought her an engagement ring. I just can't belive this week got worse somehow. We got through it last night and decided not to give up yet. It did manage to make me feel even worse about life. I feel like total shit today.
I really need some extra strength to get through the days right now. It really feels like my whole existance is falling apart. I am going to fight for what I want for my life, I just hope it isn't too late already. Fuck guys, I am hurting today. I don't really have anyone else to turn to. I don't even know how things are going to be when I get home today.
Part of me wants to call her and tell her how she really hurt me and how fucked up I think it is, but It seems like I should just keep my mouth shut and try and seem happy. I'm not happy at all. I got a docs appointment tomorrow to try and help me figure out what to do about my depression. Hopefully I can get a good psycologist referral.
I really don't want to lose the life I have right now. I don't even know what I would do or how hard it would break me.
Thanks for listening,
-Rumour
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Rank: Fuckstick
Groups: {pDs} Member, Registered User
Joined: 4/7/2008
Posts: 1,109
Points: 2,004
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A few things: - Take it easy. Quit over-thinking things. Take life one day at a time right now.
- Don't pretend it's all okay with your girlfriend. That's not what she wants. What your relationship is going to need is honesty and trust - talk to her about your problems and tell her how important she is to you (without going psycho-stalker on her).
- Tell her the things you are telling us on the forum - she needs to hear these things too.
- Go out for ice cream. And beer (assuming you are old enough).
- Do the things that made you happy as a child - did you like to go mini-golfing? Do that. Take her with you. Have fun! Do something silly. You'd be amazed at how simply laughing at something ridiculous can change your perspective on things.
- Pet a dog, pet a cat - look at pictures of puppies and kittens and rainbows online (seriously - the innocence and beauty will help heal you a bit).
Most important - take care of yourself. Yes, life is a struggle right now. It's getting through the struggle that makes us stronger people.  Belligerent Pimp wrote: The Man Society just suspended my man card for a week for getting rickrolled by Mrs. Mary Midwestern Housewife.
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Rank: Fecal Impaction For the Win!
Groups: Registered User, Server Admin
Joined: 1/13/2008
Posts: 1,509
Points: 2,004
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I would follow Mrs. Crawdads advice, especially on the relationship thing. It's a male thing to want to not bring up issues and just let them work themselves out; Incorrectly thinking that bringing up stuff will only make it worse. Talk to her about it. I heard recently, from a smart woman, that when a woman wants to openly talk about the problems in a relationship, then it means she still cares about it and wants to improve it. When she stops talking about the relationship or doesn't want to talk about the problems....its then that she has already given up on it and looking to find a way out.
So talk to her...
Quote:
"Who the fuck is Leon Switch and why does he know we have a dog?" - Mrs. Giller
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Rank: Jimmy Hat Jester
Groups: {pDs} Member, Newsie, Server Admin
Joined: 5/16/2006
Posts: 1,796
Points: 81
Location: Dallas
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Mrs. Crawdad has some great advice. My first big break up happened because we stopped talking about things. Our relationship is going great right now, but it's because of lots and lots of hard work. Lots. The key is for both of you to understand there's hard work ahead, but that it'll be worth it. It won't be fun, but you both can get through the hardest of times together AND you'll be much better off for it. Sometimes I just need a good trip somewhere. A change of location really helps, even if it's just a day trip. Since you're in San Clemente, I'd suggest going down to the beach or somewhere quiet and clear your heads. Then talk. get your ass to mars
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Rank: The Illuminist
Groups: Administration
Joined: 5/8/2006
Posts: 8,410
Points: 2,875
Location: Seattle
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If you're ever in Seattle you can come hang with us. We make people feel good, man.
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Rank: Taco Technician
Groups: Registered User, {pDs} Member
Joined: 5/9/2006
Posts: 3,948
Points: 3,636
Location: Hi-Five City
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WDF? wrote:If you're ever in Seattle you can come hang with us. We make people feel good, man. ya srsly  Just be honest to yourself and your girl. As far as depression goes, you can see a professional, sure. That will cost you some money. Or if you're the kind of guy, light up a bowl. It costs a lot less and is pretty much guaranteed to work. Weed is like pie, it fixes everything.
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Rank: Fuckstick
Groups: {pDs} Member, Registered User
Joined: 12/20/2007
Posts: 681
Points: 6
Location: San Antonio, TX
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The key to any relationship (work, friends, special someone) is communication. Actively sharing and listening to the thoughts and feelings of both sides. Remember, feelings are never wrong. If you feel a certain way, that is how you feel. You can however work on what causes you or the other to feel that way. Misinterpretation, assumptions, and ignoring relational issues almost never ends a relationship in a satisfying way and certainly never helps one to improve. I have fought depression. It is not easy. You have to force yourself to do pleasurable things when that is the last thing you want to do. Will power is a strong factor in fighting it. If you can not do it at this point, seriously get professional help on some level. There is no shame in it and the cost of getting back to a content place in life and happy is worth every penny. DO NOT TURN TO DRUGS OR ALCOHOL FOR HELP WITH DEPRESSION! The WILL NOT help in any appreciable long term way. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
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Rank: Fuckstick
Groups: {pDs} Member, Registered User, Server Admin
Joined: 11/8/2008
Posts: 161
Points: 249
Location: San Clemente
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Took the day off work today and took my GF ice skating. We actually had alot of fun. Its a day at a time thing but seems to be do-able. I really appreciate you guys alot. Great advice Mrs. Crawdad really what I needed to hear, and all of you for that matter. Whut, I plan on making a trip up north some time this year. I will definately be contacting you when I do. It would be really great to meet some new people. We also went and saw puppies at the mall pet store per Mrs. Crawdads advice. You guys are the best. I really needed some people to turn to and you guys were right thier for me. You all kick alot of ass.
Thanks again,
-Rumour
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