Can't you pretend to be batshit crazy?

Tell them you are a racist. Not in so many words but in a way they will get the picture. I would not wear a Klan hood though. That might be too obvious.

Walk in and go, "Awful lota honkies in here..."

I----I----I ca----I can't-----uhhh-----I don't----uhhhh ( drool, various bodily stutters )
Bu---uhmmm--I wanna go-----I------I ca--uhhhhh-----(physically straining to enunciate)---I not a----I don't-----aaahhhhhh--

>look down

Ohhh nooooo!





I received a jury summons as well. Apparently, I'm eligible to participate in the legal system. They will regret this decision.

I'm not sure if Canadian jury duty differs greatly from in the US, but you really don't need to lie to get out of it.

You DO need to show up, unfortunately. If you just tell them you don't want to do it (by approaching the judge privately or something), you're likely to get an earful about civic duty and such.

The most surefire way to get out is to deliberately answer some of the voir dire (jury selection) questions incorrectly. When you go in, they'll ask you questions related to the facts of the case and whether you could impartially render a verdict in spite of [x]. For example, "You will be asked to serve on a jury for charges related to the sexual assault and rape of a child. Will you be able to put aside your own personal opinions and weigh the facts of the case impartially?"

In most cases, you can quickly see the kinds of answers they're wanting jurors to give. You don't have to go in wearing a clan hood or anything, just get yourself really emo that morning and realize your personal feelings on whatever they ask you to judge would really override your impartiality. You'll get struck for cause (probably by the defense) and be sent home.


Basically, in jury selection in most states in the US, each side gets two peremptory challenges and an unlimited number of for-cause challenges. In the former, either side can boot a juror for whatever reason, and a lot of strategizing goes into the decision (and while you're technically not supposed to use them for things like "Juror #12 is black", lawyers do it anyway -- whatever they think will best help their client). Oh, and they don't have to give the reasons for that. For Cause challenges are very different and that's what you want to focus on. If someone can't be impartial about the case they shouldn't be on the jury, and either side can eliminate as many jurors as they want if they can point to a good reason.

Give them a reason, and you're home free.