Don't worry, he got Al CaPwned 

Battle of the day 1 of January, at 09:38:25
The battle took 1 round

Attackers (1)
Gajcan4life [X:X:X]
Weapons: XXX% Shields: XXX% Armour: XXX%
Espionage probe 4 Lost 4
Losses: 4.000 units
(0 Metal, 4.000 Crystal, 0 Deuterium)

Defenders (1)
J-Town [X:X:X]
Weapons: XXX% Shields: XXX% Armour: XXX%
Small cargo ship 1 Lost 0
Heavy fighter 1 Lost 0
Colony ship 1 Lost 0
Espionage probe 2 Lost 0
Solar satellite 1 Lost 0
Rocket launcher 4 Lost 0
Light laser 9 Lost 0
Heavy laser 2 Lost 0
Losses: 0 units
(0 Metal, 0 Crystal, 0 Deuterium)

The defender has won the battle!

Losses
Attacking fleet: 4.000 units
Defending fleet: 0 units
Total: 4.000 units

Debris (1 recyclers)
Metal: 0 units
Crystal: 1.200 units

Profit
Attackers (harvesting): [-70%] -2.800 units
(0 Metal, -2.800 Crystal, 0 Deuterium)

Attackers (without harvesting): [-100%] -4.000 units
(0 Metal, -4.000 Crystal, 0 Deuterium)

Defenders (harvesting): [Max] 1.200 units
(0 Metal, 1.200 Crystal, 0 Deuterium)

I cant get the converters to work today (worked fine before), so here is the result...

His coordinates (1:209:5) if anyone wants to know.

TripleBam wrote:

I was about to correct something but....no...it's all there.

Cantrip wrote:

Holy fuck. J-Town is a genius!

Brosnan wrote:

Whole lotta words that add up to "hey everyone I'm a giant faggot"

TripleBam wrote:

I just remember chewing it for 5 minutes before giving up. I tried to fit the whole slab into my mouth and some of it started sliding down to where I started to gag on it. I ended up pulling the whole 7" piece by the very tail end from my esophagus before stuffing it under my seat cushion.