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Rank: Admiral OCD
Groups: {pDs} Member, Moderator, News Editor, Newsie
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Posts: 3,491
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Location: Parallel Universe
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So I ran a marathon over the weekend.
Before the start there is usually thirty minutes of waiting around behind the start line with thousands of people packed around you in the barricaded start area, which can extend back for a half mile or more. Standing atop a mailbox outside of the barricaded start area was a guy with a Bible, a loud voice and a message from Jesus.
His main point was that we are all sinners and will always be sinners. We all go against the Ten Commandments. "If you lie, even once, you will always be a liar." Okay. He went on about how people think that is nothing. "To prove my point, if you murder, you will always be known as a murderer. If you lie, you will always be a liar!"
Fuck that. I was raised Catholic so if I was really worried about that, I could just go to confession and that would be the end of that. He made it sound like people who lied were the same as murders. I couldn't take anymore of the guy.
I yelled out, "What's the ultimate penalty for lying as opposed to murder?"
He stuttered and was silent for about two seconds as the crowd around me laughed, then he went on as if I hadn't asked the question.
Since he wasn't going to shut up, and I couldn't kill him, I decided to jump the barricade and walk closer to the start line along the sidewalk.
Now, people wear throw-away shirts or sweats to the start to stay warm. They toss them to the side just before the start. When i jumped the barricade I landed on a pile of clothes about six inches deep. I made my way closer to the front and was let back in behind the barricade by a nice race staff gal.
About a minute before the start I checked my race belt which held my water bottles. One was missing. I always drop one whenever I hop a barricade, but I usually hear it hit the pavement. Because I landed on top of a pile of clothes, i didn't hear it hit. I had no time to go back and get it. I needed it because it was going to be really hot toward the end.
So, I heckled the Jesus freak and I ended up losing my water bottle because of it. It sucked in the 80 degree heat.
During the run I tried to figure out where heckling would fit into the what I could remember of the ten commandments. While I have at least four commandment infractions that I am willing to admit, I didn't think I had committed a sin through heckling the Jesus freak. I came to one conclusion:
Karma is a bitch.
. . .
Guess which sins Cantrip has committed here. Any sins you wish to confess, my son? . You should be more like Cantrip.  Twitchy: "I pulled a Cantrip . . ." GivePeaceAChance: "If the Tempest had nipples, I'd pinch that shit." Xylicon: "I'm about to deliver my [Richard] in your face for posting that stupid shit. " WDF?: "He keeps reaming me... night after night... I'm rather sore." GivePeaceAChance: "OMG MY NIPS ARE HARD" llenta: "cantrip, you fail!!!" Filliam H. Muffman: "i'm on top of dick"
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Rank: Administration
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Joined: 9/7/2006
Posts: 3,054
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Location: Abbotsford British Columbia, Canada
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I think its funny you stumped him with no reply to your question.  ahhhh_crap wrote:no, splinter has ethics and whut has emotions
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Rank: Administration
Groups: {pDs} Member, Moderator, Server Admin
Joined: 5/9/2006
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Location: Ohio
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Cantrip wrote:So I ran a marathon over the weekend.
That's the funniest line in the whole thread lol!
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Rank: Medium-Well
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Posts: 2,411
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Location: the bottom of the bottle...
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let me guess, you coveted his wife/dog? yeah, i'm a cranky 'oul fucker. deal with it.
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Rank: Coathanger Abortion
Groups: {pDs} Member, Server Admin
Joined: 5/17/2006
Posts: 3,487
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you should have thrown your water bottle at him. jesus freaks love being persecuted. Razor wrote:Killing people is good therapy.  
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Rank: Pooter Scooter
Groups: Registered User, Server Admin
Joined: 11/8/2006
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Location: San Antonio, Texas
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christians dont believe in karma In an hour of Darkness a blind man is the best guide. In an age of Insanity look to the madman to lead the way. 
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Rank: Fecal Impaction For the Win!
Groups: {pDs} Member
Joined: 5/9/2006
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Location: RVA
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Gunslinger wrote:christians dont believe in karma Bike wrote:I like to make werewolf movies. 
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