A man was in a long line at Target. As he got to the register he realized he had forgotten to get condoms, so he asked the checkout girl if she could have some brought up to the register.

She asked, "What size condoms?"

The customer replied that he didn't know.

She asked him to drop his pants.

He did.

She reached over the counter, grabbed hold of him and called over the intercom, "One box of large condoms, Register 5."

The next man in line thought this was interesting, and like most of us, was up for a cheap thrill. When he got up to the register, he told the checker that he too had forgotten to get condoms, and asked if she could have some brought to the register for him.

She asked him what size, and he stated that he didn't know. She asked him to drop his pants.

He did.

She gave him a quick feel, picked up the intercom and said, "One box of medium-sized condoms, Register 5."

A few customers back was this teenage boy. He thought what he had seen was way too cool. He had never had any type of sexual contact with a live female, so he thought this was his chance. When he got to the register he told the checker he needed some condoms.

She asked him what size and he said he didn't know. She asked him to drop his pants and he did. She reached over the counter, gave him a quick squeeze, then picked up the intercom and said...

(you'll love this one...................)

  

"Cleanup, Register 5"

A Redneck Family From The Hills Was Visiting In The City
They Were In A Mall For The First Time In Their Life
The Father And Son Were Strolling Around While The Wife Shopped
They Were Amazed By Almost Everything That They Saw
But Especially Amazed By Two Shiny, Silver Walls That Could Move Apart
Then The Walls Would Slide Back Together Again

The Boy Asked
"Paw"
What's 'At?"
The Father, Never Having Seen An Elevator, Responded
"Son"
"I Dunno"
"I Ain't Never Seen Anything Like That In My Entire Life"
"I Ain't Got No Idea'r What It Is"

While The Boy And His Father Were Watching With Amazement
A Fat Old Lady In A Wheel Chair Rolled Up To The Moving Walls
She Reached Out And Pressed A Button
The Walls Opened
The Lady Rolled Between Them Into A Small Room
The Walls Closed

The Boy And His Father Watched In Amazement
The Small Circular Numbers Above The Walls Lit Up Sequentially
They Continued To Watch Until It Reached The Last Number
Then The Numbers Began To Light Up In Reverse Order
Then The Walls Opened Up Again
A Gorgeous, Voluptuous 24-Year-Old Blonde Woman Stepped Out

The Father
Not Taking His Eyes Off The Young Woman
Said Quietly To His Son
"Boy"
"Go Git Yo Momma"

Johnny wanted to have sex with a girl in his office.....but she belonged to someone else...
One day Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said I'll give you a 1000 dollars if you let me screw you....but the girl said NO.
Johnny said I'll be fast, I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, I'll be finished by the time you pick it up.
She thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult her boyfriend.....so she called her boyfriend and told him the story.
Her boyfriend says ask him for 2000 dollars, pick up the money really fast, he won't even be able to get his pants down.  So she agrees and accepts the
proposal.
Half an hour goes by and the boyfriend is waiting for his girlfriend to call.  Finally after 45 minutes the boyfriend calls and asks what happened......
She said  "THAT BASTARD USED QUARTERS!!!"

Four US quarters = one US dollar.