|
|
Rank: Polio Power!
Groups: {pDs} Member, Registered User, Server Admin
Joined: 5/19/2006
Posts: 495
Points: 0
Location: Banker's Hill, San Diego
|
so i went surfing in mehico down at K58 in baja cal this weekend and saw some crazy ass shit.
5 minutes after crossing into Tijuana we saw a dead body in the middle of the road. apparently the dude was hit while walking on this two foot wide sidewalk on top of the highways partition. no railing. we were fortunate enough to arrive first and see the bloody mess while the rest of the people we were travelling with saw the body under a sheet (which they said had floral patterns on it).
there was some other crazy stuff that went on but i don't wanna bore u. But on the way out we saw the gnarliest shit. because the feds have to check all vehicles coming into america a line forms for miles on the freeway and you basically sit for 1-2 hours to get into america. walking up and down the freeway are street vendors, evangelists, and beggars. as we were approaching the top of this spiral, there was the freakiest fucking lady i have ever seen. she had elephantitis of the foot. her fucking stump of a foot was about as round as her whole body. seriously, like 3 feet around. and the toes were pointing in every direction. i made eye contact with her as we idled past... *shudders*
anyways. what the shit have YOU all seen while visiting mexico?
|
|
|
Rank: Pooter Scooter
Groups: Registered User, Server Admin
Joined: 11/8/2006
Posts: 2,468
Points: 2,103
Location: San Antonio, Texas
|
fuck mexico In an hour of Darkness a blind man is the best guide. In an age of Insanity look to the madman to lead the way. 
|
|
|
Rank: The Illuminist
Groups: Administration
Joined: 5/8/2006
Posts: 8,410
Points: 2,875
Location: Seattle
|
Gunslinger wrote:fuck mexico
|
|
|
Rank: Fecal Impaction For the Win!
Groups: {pDs} Member
Joined: 5/9/2006
Posts: 1,724
Points: 6
Location: RVA
|
Never been, and now that i read this, i'll probably never go. Bike wrote:I like to make werewolf movies. 
|
|
|
Rank: Administration
Groups: Registered User, Server Admin
Joined: 9/7/2006
Posts: 3,054
Points: 1,377
Location: Abbotsford British Columbia, Canada
|
Gunslinger wrote:fuck mexico you can go fuck yourself slinger   ahhhh_crap wrote:no, splinter has ethics and whut has emotions
|
|
|
Rank: You're gonna stick that where?
Groups: {pDs} Member
Joined: 5/15/2006
Posts: 220
Points: 3
Location: Lompoc, CA
|
WDF? wrote:Gunslinger wrote:fuck mexico
|
|
|
Rank: Administration
Groups:
Joined: 6/27/2007
Posts: 69
Points: 0
|
|
|
|
Rank: Dutchess of Doodoo
Groups: Registered User, Server Admin, WDFNews.com Official Mapper
Joined: 6/3/2006
Posts: 2,239
Points: 330
Location: $L
|
haha. so many stories... Went to a strip club with some weird name (translated to "Purr Purr" like cat noises.) Saw a girl with hairy titties. Got so drunk off shit-tequila, I couldn't even put the dollar bills in the girls g-string (I must have looked like an idiot). Finally got kicked out, flagged a cab, threw up all over the inside. Got back to the resort, they rolled me out of the cab and i got wheel chaired to my room by the cabbie. Fantastic place. All who say otherwise can eat a dick. You wanna take this to Fuck Town?
Oh gadzooks, yes!
|
|
|
Rank: Admiral OCD
Groups: {pDs} Member, Moderator, News Editor, Newsie
Joined: 5/9/2006
Posts: 3,491
Points: 1,346
Location: Parallel Universe
|
Normally Cantrip would not partake of such a town as Tijuana, Mexico, but it was spring break and I was with a bunch of Air Force Academy cadets who thought it was the cat's meow.
We were at the "Long bar" somewhere along the main drag. We left because the guys wanted to see some of the fairer sex engaged in rhythmic gyrations while scantily clad.
We ended up at the skankiest-ho-ridden establishment in all of Mehico. There was a small stage with a copper dance pole in the center. It looked like it needed some Windex. The bouncer whistle-toting greeter asked us if we wanted to see some girls. The guys answered and he took us inside and sat us down in the back row of some bleachers behind a group of about five Mexican senoritas who looked like they were cordoned off for their protection. All seemed to be enjoying the show.
The greeter had told us it was free to enter, but there was a two-drink minimum. Okay by the guys. Not okay by me. You see, for someone who is borderline OCD, that place was full of germs. And that poll, my god, that poll needed cleaning! So I was not too happy when they sat us down because the floor was sticky, but I was with my friend and his buds and I didn't want to appear like a wuss. So I sat there and paid $3 for a tiny, and I mean TINY beer. It must have been eight ounces. They brought them to us on a tray, already opened, and they were warm and somewhat flat.
So we watched a few women do their acts. The place was losing its luster for me but I hadn't had my second beer yet, so I watched what was going on offstage because it was starting to get a little boring.
In the corner, some guy was getting a lap dance. Over on the right some guy looked like he was ready to pass out. Over in another area, some guy was making out with some Mexican chick.
Then one of the dancers was approached by what looked like a thirty-something man who was obviously in the military. From Camp Pendleton perhaps? A black guy with arms the size of my legs. He tried to put a dollar into the woman's G-string, but he didn't want to touch her. She tried to help him, but he just ended up giving it to her.
She took the dollar and rolled it up. Then she leaned forward and asked him something I couldn't make out. He then downed the rest of his beer and handed her his beer bottle. She took the rolled up the dollar bill, put it in the bottle, and put the bottle, opening first, into her vagina. She was able to tilt the bottle in a circle with her hooch muscles. She then pulled the bottle out, and the dollar was still inside her. She took the dollar and put it in her G-string.
She then tried to hand the bottle back to the guy, who was sitting about three feet from her. He tried to lean back away from the bottle with his arms in the air, then finally fell backwards trying to get away from it.
Wow. That was interesting I thought. It certainly looked to me like she and her fellow performers had done that many times before.
I then continued to look at the chicks making out with the guys in the dark corners. I noticed that they all had the same kind of flowery dress. Oh, I get it.
I then looked over to where the bartender was handing drinks to the waiter.
Oh fuck.
I quickly turned to my friend who had ignored my earlier attempts to get them to leave that place.
"Okay dude," I said, "I know you want to stay here but I'm going to tell you something that will change your mind. You see all these chicks making out with guys in the dark corners? Well, you'll notice they all have the same type of flowery dress. It's the same kind of dress that these five chicks in front of us are wearing. They're whores. There's not a single chick here who is not wearing the same kind of dress. They sat us in behind the bullpen full of whores."
"Relax, they're not going to hurt you," he said.
"Okay bitch, I want you to look over at the bartender who is giving that waiter drinks to serve to the customers. Do you remember when I said how odd I thought it was that the beers came already open? And how they were warm and kinda flat? And how you shook it off as them being efficient by pre-opening them so we wouldn't make a mess? Well look at what the bartender is doing . . ."
He looked over and his jaw dropped. There, tucked away in a dark corner we could clearly see a half-dozen 8 ounce beer bottles sitting on a tray on the bar. The bartender had a giant 1-liter size beer bottle in both hands and was carefully filling the smaller bottles with it. The waiters were collecting the bottles off of tables and taking them back to the bar. They were recycling the beer bottles by refilling them. They were the same type of bottle that everyone in the place was drinking from, the same kind that we had in our hands and the same kind that we watched that whore stick inside her vagina . . .
We left immediately.You should be more like Cantrip.  Twitchy: "I pulled a Cantrip . . ." GivePeaceAChance: "If the Tempest had nipples, I'd pinch that shit." Xylicon: "I'm about to deliver my [Richard] in your face for posting that stupid shit. " WDF?: "He keeps reaming me... night after night... I'm rather sore." GivePeaceAChance: "OMG MY NIPS ARE HARD" llenta: "cantrip, you fail!!!" Filliam H. Muffman: "i'm on top of dick"
|
|
|
Rank: Hyper-Active Attention Gobbling Fuckwing
Groups: {pDs} Member, Registered User
Joined: 5/10/2006
Posts: 724
Points: 0
Location: CA
|
Oh my fucking god Cantrip.  Fear the ING! -[Mr.]MaMa-*Bluecell*- -running -varmint
|
|
|
Rank: Fecal Impaction For the Win!
Groups: {pDs} Member
Joined: 5/9/2006
Posts: 1,724
Points: 6
Location: RVA
|
I wonder how many dollar bills that are currently in circulation have passed through a mexican whore's vagina.. Bike wrote:I like to make werewolf movies.
|
|
|
Rank: You're gonna stick that where?
Groups: {pDs} Member, Server Admin, WDFNews.com Official Mapper
Joined: 5/9/2006
Posts: 469
Points: 12
Location: Stupid Town
|
...I love Cantrp stories...
Revolucion is the name of the main strip you refer to too, what a wonderful place.
Story #1
I used to live in EL Cajon and take the trolley there to the border, that way I didn't have to drive home. For those that have been there know that there is an army of Mexican cabs just on the other side of the border. Which one night me and my buddies grabbed one and asked him to take us to the "donkey show " we allways heard of. He said he didn't know of any donkey show but he had something better. We all agreed and went to some low rent area in TJ of the strip. There was a small bar, sticky floors , bunch of rotten chairs , dirty tables and a small stage with curtian. Next to the stage was a monkey eating peanuts or some shit like that. We ordered some beers, which were unopened and cold, and this guy comes out and says the show is going to begin. The curtain pulls back and here is the woman wearing some tattered old nighty and heels. She sits down in this bean bag chair , spreads her legs , to which we realize she needs a shave badly and begins rubbing herself. This goes on for about 5 minutes and we begin to think , this sucks. Then she stops whistles twice a the monkey runs over and starts fucking the shit out of her. It probably lasted for about 1 minute of this little hairball going to town. Me and buddies were floored , first we dead silent , then we started busting up . The best part was when the monkey finished she offered $10 to anyone to eat her pussy. To which we immedeatly left.
Story #2
Gnar , just a guess , but the place where the body was at... Was it at the goofy entrance to Mexico highway 1? Where all the lanes kinda merge around a big curve even though there are no lines in the road?
I used shore fish about 5 miles south of Rosarita , North of Ensenada. One day 2 Federalies came to our camp to see what we were up to. One was in a Ford Taurus that was "converted to a cop car. The other was an old Baja 1000 prerunner truck. Now we never had any problems before so we went out to talk to them. Turns out they just wanted some beer, so we gave them some, in fact too many. They got hammered! The next thing we know they pull out there AK-47s and started blasting seagulls. I thought thats messed up , but I wasn't going to argue with them either. After a while we they let us shoot their guns , we didn't take aim at seagulls . They passed out a couple of hours later, and slept till morning. They got up, thanked us for the good time and left.
I have more but jr reads this site as well so those will have to wait.
|
|
|
Rank: Coathanger Abortion
Groups: {pDs} Member, Server Admin
Joined: 5/17/2006
Posts: 3,487
Points: 1,990
Location: Undisclosed Location
|
LemmiWinks wrote:WDF? wrote:Gunslinger wrote:fuck mexico Razor wrote:Killing people is good therapy.  
|
|
|
Rank: King of Jeans
Groups: {pDs} Member, Server Admin
Joined: 5/10/2006
Posts: 453
Points: 705
Location: So Cal
|
i went fishing and got food poisioning/heat stroke (not from the fish)
Dick Cheney's Mechanical Heart wrote:LemmiWinks wrote:WDF? wrote:Gunslinger wrote:fuck mexico  King of Jeans I wanna be like Buddylee 007 for life
|
|
|
| Users browsing this topic |
|
Guest
|