So with job interviews and roadtrips in the week ahead, I decided my shaggy fro, unshorn since a week before Penguinlan, needed a trimming.  Fresh without an appointment at a local posh hair salon, I dropped by my local Pro-Cuts for a little low-cost retail barber-ism.

There were three female stylists, one reshaping my mane, one with another customer, and a third with apparently nothing to do.  In the scant thirty minutes I was there, I was treated to a little barbershop chit-chat.  It was girlie, highest aspiration is the local community college, Southern-style banter.  And it put the fear of God into me.

Between stories about deep fried mashed-potatoes-on-a-stick at the local State Fair (not making that up) and how people sometimes mistake one of the girls for a lesbian because of her short hairstyle (but don't worry, she doesn't, like, hate them or anything), all three young women had frightening anecdotes about their cars, and bizarrely, their dogs.  One girl's dog had locked her out of her car while she was getting gas -- she always leaves the keys in the ignition.  The second girl's dog had jumped out of the car while sitting at a stoplight.  "Stupid dog!" she said, "I had to put my car in park and run out and grab him."  All three terrors of the road happily agreed that they let their dogs ride in their laps in the car (and all emptyheadedness aside, I couldn't fault the dogs for their excellent choice of laps ), and my girl, Holli, opined on her refusal to wear shoes while driving.  One shoe did get caught behind the break pedal once, and yeah that was a little scary, but she's much more worried about getting pulled over and caught doing it.  See, Holli "is always speeding too fast," sometimes 90 mph on a 60 highway.  I'm guessing her dog like the breeze.

So yeah, I guess I should have been scared, since I let these ladies poke at my head with sharp instruments.  But I made it out alive and with a nice $12.95 haircut.  It's a shame though, since I'm never leaving my apartment again.

This is coming from a guy who drives and texts on his iPhone at the same time >__<

Yes, don't know why but it is.

There's a reason why they work where they do.

I'm pretty sure its a law to drive with shoes, because of the whole emergency thing(who wants to step out on a road barefooted and get rocks and shit cutting your feet) or your feet get could wet somehow, foot slips off the break peddel and slams into a mini-van full of retarded children.

pfft.... faith in humanity is like soo 1992....

and as far as barefoot driving goes, it varies from state to state, but mostly its just frowned upon at the most.