I have nightmares almost nightly. Not really sure why. They are all pretty twisted and bizarre.

I'm a fan of nightmares though. It's entertainment for your sleepy. People who are scared of nightmares are pussies.

I think one of the most bizarre dreams I had was when I was in elementary school. I was terrified of both my kindergarten teacher as well as the new librarian that year.

In my dream my mean teacher leads the class to the library. It's very dark. The only light is coming from an overhead projector (used for transparencies, etc).

The librarian is wheeling it out on one of those A/V carts along with a toaster and some butter and jam.

My teacher makes me sit next to the librarian while he takes my arm and begins slicing my skin off into thin slices and puts them in the toaster. He then proceeds to look over at my classmates and asks in a menacing voice, "Who want's butter on their toast?"

I woke from this dream having fallen out of bed. I was still very little. I remember crying hysterically and the room was as dark as the library.

I guess I woke my dad up with my sobbing because the next thing I know there is this fat naked body running full throttle towards me. The thing about this moment that made it so memorable was the sight of his flailing penis as he ran. Looking back, it was kinda funny.


I slept in moms bed the rest of that night.