Um... hmm.

No. No no no no no. I draw the line at urine/feces. No thanks. Why? Because it's gross. Also, I'm a germaphobe.

I'll shoot a load into someones face no problem though.


As for squirters. I've had two. Explosive orgasm chicks are fun. While it leaves everything damp and you need to change the sheets before going to sleep (which, after I'm done, is a real pain in the ass because I am one of those guys who is lights out afterwards), it leaves you with a sense of accomplishment I suppose.

Also, sometimes with girls I can't tell when they're done. Especially with the screamers. It's such a production, I'm usually left saying "you can stop faking it now, it's getting a little silly" in my mind. I don't know where it starts and stops with them.


The squirters are fun because it's like a friendly tap on the shoulde....penis letting you know "hey, nice work there buddy, you can go ahead and call it a night now"


But no, I'm not going to piss on anyone (except Sirus, while he's sleeping) and I'm not going to shit on anyone (except Sirus, in his cereal).

If anyone tries to piss or shit on me... well. I'm equal opportunity. I'll slug you, man or woman.

Accidents do happen though, and it's important to be sympathetic when they do, as it can be a traumatic moment.... especially if it's with someone who's really into you but you haven't been seeing each other long. Chick's dig it when you don't get grossed out when they have an oopsie... like a poopsie ooopsie.

Also, I have no problem fucking during "that time of the month." It's a natural thing. Just requires a shower later.


Although I tend to avoid it.


However, that isn't an issue because my girlfriend gets a shot in the ass which neutralizes that abnoxious monthly occurance and leaves her open for 24/7/365 rampage.

The end.