Damn Cheney thats a though hand you've been dealt right now. As you know I have also been going through a rough patch.

What I learned is if you take it a day at a time and play lots of TF2 things tend to work out. Unless you play spy, spies deserve horrible horrible lives.

On a more serious note, I really hope the best for you and I hope your job doesn't lay you off. Maybe the GF thing is almost a blessing because you will be able to concentrate on other aspects of your life more clearly. (Yeah I hate it when people give that kind of advice about women too, but who knows maybe its true) Who knows maybe she will be back. But i know this from experience; When someone "gives up on you" they are also "not being a friend to you" and at that point I realized that she wasn't in the relationship for "us" as much as "her."

You've been a great pal to me and I will do anything I can to help you. Please don't hesitate to ask.

-Rumour 

 

it always gets worse before it gets better.

hang in there and wait it out. try going above and beyond in your job. you have to distinguish yourself from the rest of people.

the girlfriend part is hard. my last girlfriend and i were getting along great and we broke up after a bad night. it was her fault and she didn't want the chance of it happening again so she had to leave. just tell your girlfriend what you told us here and make sure she knows how you feel. you can't make someone like or love you, but you can do your best to let them know how you feel. maybe she just wants to hear it from you.

good luck in anything, and come around here anytime you need help. this forum is one of the most helpful ones i've ever seen.

First off, don't take your advice from a 13-year-old . . .

Assume the worst is going to happen - that you will get let go one way or another. That way you can prepare now instead of waiting around for the uncertainty to become certain.  If it doesn't happen, you'll be in a better position anyway because of the exercise. 

Start looking for a job now.  Look anywhere you can.  That resume you put together the last time you applied for a position will take you more time to update than you think.

Stop spending. Cut out the excess in your life. You can find a better auto insurance quote, cell phone plan, internet provider, etc.  Get a roommate or several if you have to.

Start selling crap you don't need.  Craig's list costs nothing, I think, to post.  Some poor sap will have extra cash to part with.  Take it.

Your friend is gone.  There is nothing anyone can say or do to make that not so, or make that pain any better.  You need some kind of distraction, but it will never feel better.

Your girlfriend may be gone, or she may not. Chicks change their minds all the time like it's okay to put guys through hell and because they have vaginas, it makes it okay. 

-Okay, it does make it okay, but only if they come back with the vagina intact.  Otherwise, when you get tired of no vagina, you'll eventually go looking for replacement vagina. You should go looking for vagina anyway. 

Look, did you have sex with her?  If the answer is "yes" then you won. 

Well, it may not feel that way, but when you add her to the running tally of the total number of chicks you've banged, she'll be a number.  Or not, in which case you should actively try to get her back.  What you can't do with any of this is sit still and dwell on it.

Sorry to hear that you are going through a rough time.  I'm not going to repeat the sound advice already given, so I'll just add my additional 2 cents:  Don't turn to alcohol or drugs to drown the pain.  Sure it works momentarily, but it will only make it worse in the long run.  Take the time to deal, and keep reminding yourself that one needs pain in order to fully realize and understand the experience of joy.  Without any contrast, life would be numb.

I know how you do.  I'm not that type of guy either, as I'm not too keen on picking up women at bars.  But who's going to pass up on some action?  

What type of work do you do?  I live in Seattle, and do have some friends in various industries...

I looked into the stuff they passed recently, it only applies to mortgages from before 2009. I had to refi my place as part of the whole getting divorced thing, I'm past the cut off for help now.

On a more positive note, I might have a date tonight/tomorrow with a crazy hot girl, she looks like a model. Only prob is she is kind of young, but whatever. I'd been planning on spending the entire weekend with my ex, since it's just like we never broke up except that's not going very well. We talked about it a bit last night, didn't really go anywhere good. Mostly because she can't give a straight answer, or a definitive one. We still have fun together and all that but from what she said it sounds like she basically is going to do whatever the fuck she wants as long as she thinks it makes her happy at the time. Everyone I've talked to about this keeps telling me that she is a selfish immature bitch who doesn't deserve me and that I should run away immediately, which is really uplifting because I love her too much to run away. I'm coping I guess.
 

Thanks for asking around, I appreciate it a lot. The job market is craptastic and getting worse unfortunately.

As far as the ex girlfriend goes, part of what lead us here is that I wanted more than she could give right now. At this point though what I want is a few small steps beyond what we have now, we're effectively a couple regardless of how she wants to label it. I'm fairly content with the current situation for now, there are aspects of it that I'm very unhappy about but she is who she is. I've made what I want now clear so I'm kind of just in a holding pattern, waiting for her to fuck someone else, come back to me a little further, or for me to meet someone who I can replace her with (to be brutally honest). In a lot of ways it's been good, she has really opened my eyes up to some of my own issues, and taught me just how cruel another person can be despite love.