So, pigeons are just rats with wings, right?

At least that's what I always have thought.

About 8 months ago I moved into a new place. All utilities were included and it was ready at the moment I needed it.

There was a point where I thought I had rats in the ceiling, but the landlord said he set up traps in the crawlspace and none had been triggered. Could be squirrels on the roof.

So I set a trap outside and it caught a bird instead.

Oops.

But where the bird was caught, I noticed that a bird popped out from under the eaves. So I figured the birds were trying to build a nest so I thought I should stop them and that would stop the noise.

I went to Home Depot and purchased some wire mesh to block access to the space as shown below. But the noises continued.

Then I noticed a head pop up from a little baby bird. Shit.

So I removed the mesh to let him have access to his mama.

However, the next week was a living hell. See, there's a tree next to the fence where all kinds of birds gather in and fight every morning for real estate just above my bedroom window. I mean it's really loud and wakes me up.

So I said fuck it. The nest has to be moved. I got one of those extension grabbers from the dollar store and tried to move the nest. I got most of it out, but then I noticed that it was moving. Crap.

I had managed to get all of it out, but there were four baby birds, not one. And I realized that because the nest came out in pieces, these four were probably gonna all die. I set the nest up in a corner by the fence and hoped mama bird would take care of them.

One tried to crawl away. It looked like a bald baby chich with a Mohawk. When I tried to pick it up with the grabber, it made this horrible screeching noise, so I let him go.

I added the wire mesh back to the spaces. When I walked away, mama pigeon came down and tended to them.

A couple of days later she had abandoned them. I tried not to notice. I was riddled with guilt. I almost cried.

A week later there was no movement from the nest pile. Oh God. I realized that these birds did not die of exposure because it was pretty warm. The horror hit me just then.

There was a steady trail of ants that had popped up after I moved the nest. However, they were not going to the trashcans as I had thought. They were going into the nest itself.

See, these baby birds were defenseless with no one to protect them. In the meantime, they were eaten up alive by all these ants. They were still moving about, thrashing I guess, when the ants were all over them.

What a horrible way to die.

It's okay though. Pigeons are just rats with wings, right?

Right???

We had baby squirrels nest inside the engine of our tractor. Not pleasant.

Also, I thought you were going to complain about pigeon complaining. :P

:'(

Sure it is. Murderer.