Hahaha.
Happy birthday. As you get older, you'll care less and less about your bdays. The important ones are:
15?, 16?, 17? -whichever age lets you get a driver's license;
18 - register for the draft, register to vote, have sex with your older black bf legally;
21 - legal drinking age so you can go into bars with your bf;
26 - better insurance rates on your car;
30 - officially an adult;
40 -officially on your way out of the world;
50 - time to buy a red sports car and get a hot twenty-something girlfriend;
55 - your hot gf leaves you for the pool boy;
60 - you're automatically in AARP;
62 - you can start early on collecting Social Security, if there's any left;
64 - you can sing that Beatles song to yourself;
65 - full SS benefits;
69 - *snicker*;
73 - average life expectancy of the average male in the U.S., and oh yeah, yearly physicals with the "finger" included;
80 -99 - you just kinda drool all over yourself;
100 - the President of the American Empire sends you a nice certificate and if you're someone famous, you get an airport named after you;
115- age of oldest living person today. If you live that long, it will be the year 2107 and maybe Steam will have fixed the current bugs in HL2DM. And perhaps Tempest and Horde will be back up . . . Maybe.
Young man, my suggestion to you is to masterbate. Masterbate as often as you can. When you get savvy enough, you can have someone else do it for you, or better yet, have sex WITH someone else as often as you can, who isn't a bro . . .
You should be more like Cantrip.
Twitchy: "I pulled a Cantrip . . ."
GivePeaceAChance: "If the Tempest had nipples, I'd pinch that shit."
Xylicon: "I'm about to deliver my [Richard] in your face for posting that stupid shit. "
WDF?: "He keeps reaming me... night after night... I'm rather sore."
GivePeaceAChance: "OMG MY NIPS ARE HARD"
llenta: "cantrip, you fail!!!"
Filliam H. Muffman: "i'm on top of dick"