I rarely click on the "Guide" button on my TiVo, but for some reason I did and noticed that the Three Stooges were on later in the evening so I recorded it.

I just finished watching it and I'm scratching my head a bit.  The whole thing, and I mean every spoken line, is written in rhyme!  And there's a musical score throughout.  I was surprised by these two tidbits. 

The full text of the opening title sequence is: "A musical novelty/ Woman Haters with/ Marjorie White."  It was directed by Archie Gottler, with the story written by Jerome S. Gottler.  Obviously a relative of the director.



The author tries to tell a story.  It's basically an allusion to Shakespeare's Love's Labours Lost, imo.  In Woman Haters, the three boys join a stodgy old men's club with the words "Woman Haters/ W.H/ Club Rooms" written on the front door.  Think of the men's club in Trading Places with Eddie Murphy and Dan Akroid.

"Listen you woman haters, we meet for the seventh time to convince each member of the club that romance is a crime!" says the president of the club as he asks each to make a comment.  One fop, Mr. Zero, says when a man marries a chick, he works while she relaxes.  Bitches pay for stuff, but "where does the money come from?  From those dopey guys who fall.  I say down with every guy who sings my life, my love, my all!" 

No bitches. That's what they agree to in the agreement that they make - that's the plot to Love's Labours Lost and hence the rip-off.

Then the Three Stooges show up and say they want to join.  So they're initiated into the club. 

Larry goes to a party.  It appears it's his engagement party.  He tries to tell the father that the wedding is off because of his commitment but before he does some chick comes up to Larry, apparently his betrothed. 

The chick's father tells Larry that his other daughter's husband tried to get out of it and he, his brother, his son and some other folks beat the crap out of him, and he's seen in a cast and crutches, which immediately leads to them getting married like ten seconds later.

They honeymoon on a train on their way to their destination.  Larry says, let's keep this marriage a secret, k?  She says fuck that. Then Larry goes into a duet with her.

Well, the other two Stooges get on the train somehow.  Convince Larry that he took an oath against bitches and he agrees.  Then she tries to seduce the other two.  Finally, the three boys all retire to a sleeper car. 

Larry has a wet dream where he tries to kiss his pillow then tries to split to be with the chick. Moe stops him.  Then Moe tries to sneak off, and Larry stops him.  Then Curly tries to sneak off, but because he has the top bunk, Moe bites Curly's toe and Larry holds him down. They get into a slapping match.

The chick shows up, "Now you pay attention and you might get a big surprise.  I'll be leading the attention by telling you that I'm wise.  This man's my husband, we were married a couple of hours ago, and the agreement that you fellows signed is false and it don't go. Cause everybody's cheated, I can prove it and I know.  Move over . . ."  As she climbs into the sleeping car bed with all three, the bed collapses.

See, in Love's Labours Lost, four guys who make a pact to have no bitches for three years.  Each breaks the agreement one by one when four chicks show up in court, the courtesan kind of court, not the Judge Whoppner kind.  And there you have a further rip-off.

The next scene is the 30th meeting of the Woman Haters club.  They're all really old.  Moe and Curly are there when they get a knock on the door.  It's Larry who wants to join again.  Kinda like Avnar, but nevermind.

Apparently they went all those years with Larry married to the chick.  Now he wants in again.  Then they break into song about "my life, my love, my all."

So there you have it.  The Stooges end up joining a Woman Haters club to keep away from the bitches.  

You know, they didn't have to do that.  All they have to do is start playing World of Warcraft, or TF2.  Or visit these forums, like you are now.  That will certainly keep chicks away from you. 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Woman_Haters

http://www.shakespeare-online.com/plays/LLLscenes.html

True.  There are few stage directions for the actors.  None involve eye poking.  But my favorite of all time is in The Winter's Tale for Antigonus' demise: "Exit, pursued by a bear." 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Winter's_Tale