Why bother with a - 366 MHz Celeron Intel processor, 32 MB SyncDRAM/128 KB L2 Cache, 4.3 GB HD, 56K Data/Fax modem, ATI 3D Rage IIc APG graphics card with 4 MB SDRAM, Windows 98 - machine whose fan powers up and will not stop unless you disconnect the power cord? Hmmm????
Because, it's yet another Cantrip OCD project, that's why. That, and I promised a former coworker that I would get her an internets-only machine, if she provided the machine. Though she has the internets at home through a deal with her cable company for that, cable and phone service, she doesn't own a computer. Her laptop died long ago and she uses her friend's laptop when she comes over, but still pays for the internets through her basic package.
So I told her if she went to the thrift store and bought the $8 machine they had in the back, I would get it running for her. I told her to do this like weeks ago, but she just got around to going to the thrift store last week. By then the $8 machine was gone, but there was a $6.99 machine. Okay I said, but it had to have a working CD drive. Okay she said and came home not with a $6.99 machine, but rather, she discovered at the checkout stand, a $16.99 machine because she thought it would be better. She managed to get the one machine in the half-dozen or so they always have, that did not have a working CD drive.
I plugged it in and immediately noticed that the PSU fan started up and would not stop. -Okay, she can unplug it when not in use. The CD drive looked like someone took it out of the machine, drove over it with an old pickup truck and kinda shoved it back in the bay. The drive door cover was broken and you could see parts sticking out almost.
However, it did power up. The operating system, Windows 98, not-so-much. It took almost 8 minutes for the OS to fully stabilize, and even then, it had that something-ain't-right look on the screen.
It probably had eleventeen million viruses. So after hitting it with air from my air compressor to get rid of all the dust, i used Killdisk, from
www.killdisk.com, to wipe the 4.3 GB HD. Killdisk is a free program that writes zeros to each sector location. The professional version does this 3 times, but with random ones and zeros, as required by the Dept. of Dephense - that's how they make their money.
Anyway, here it is nice and dust-free going through the HD wiping process:

So I loaded Puppy Linux onto the HD because this machine only has 32 MB of memory. It runs fine. It will boot up from a cold start within 60 seconds and will get onto the internets less than 20 seconds later.
Here it is viewing this website within 80 seconds of startup:
I promised my former coworker that if she got the machine, I would get her a monitor, power cords, keyboard and mouse - everything she needed to do the internets as soon as she got home with it. The sound card even works when you hook up speakers to it.
Of course she gets the crappiest-looking monitor I have. Don't get me wrong, it's a good monitor. I just got it from someone who bought their kid a LCD monitor and this one was the kid's, complete with stickers and some attempt at decoration with a Sharpie Pen on the bottom left and right there. The tube is in perfect condition. Great color contrast with no signs of use other than the decorations. I have a room full of old CRT monitors for yet another project - more on that some other time.
So, she will have to unplug it when not in use since the PSU fan keeps spinning, and she won't have the use of a CD drive. She really didn't need it once I installed Puppy Linux on the HD. The thing was useless anyway - it had bits and pieces rattling around inside it so I took it out and used another CD drive to run the software. I think I'm of the mindset that a CD drive is not necessary, especially when the new ones are at least $50. Oh, I could have given her one that I have lying around, but I told the bitch to get a machine with a working CD drive, at least one that didn't look like it was run over by a pickup truck. Sheesh.
You'll notice in that last picture that the machine has a floppy drive, then an unused bay above that, then an empty bay where the CD drive was. You and I would not be phased by a big gaping hole in a machine, but she would, so I took a plastic milk carton and cut a cover for the hole. I used my trusty hot-glue gun to hold it in place. I love my hot-glue gun, with it's sticky drippy warm goodness.
So, there you have it. I started the air compressor around 2-ish and just finished loading the above photos around 8. And I so wanted to complete my body temperature cooling pad project today. More on that next weekend I guess.
And no, I didn't bang her. However, I was promised dinner if I came over and set it up for her. Frankly, I don't do tech support.
You should be more like Cantrip.
Twitchy: "I pulled a Cantrip . . ."
GivePeaceAChance: "If the Tempest had nipples, I'd pinch that shit."
Xylicon: "I'm about to deliver my [Richard] in your face for posting that stupid shit. "
WDF?: "He keeps reaming me... night after night... I'm rather sore."
GivePeaceAChance: "OMG MY NIPS ARE HARD"
llenta: "cantrip, you fail!!!"
Filliam H. Muffman: "i'm on top of dick"