Okay, I would still settle for a picture of a stream of urine assisted by gravity toward a sleeping Sirus.

ANY PICTURE OF ANYTHING AT THIS POINT.  This thread is full of fail, imagined or not.

Mrs. C gets an A+++ for her photo essay.  The rest of you suck donkey balls.

As soon as the pictures finish transferring I have an epic home walkthrough... You guys really sucked at this.

It's go time!


Here's my house:



This is the view you get after walking through the front door. We have to keep the blinds closed due to our lunatic neighbors staring at us if we leave them open. The resulting atmosphere is dark. Very dark.

Also, it's like 3:00am when these photos were taken... so it's dark then too. Also, these are cellphone pictures... so..... Here's my house.




Here's the same shot coming through the front door with the house lights turned on. Now you can see the blurry room. Nice work for you.


Here's my front door. Reverse angle kinda shit. Woohoo and stuff.



Here's a side angle of my front walkway. There's my couch and shit.


Here's the bar in the living room (room as you walk into the house). in all its glory. Camera phone has trouble with dark spaces.



So here's the bar with all of the house lights on. Not as exciting when it's bright.


I'm going to run to the gas station to buy cigarettes. I need to do this before I get too drunk to drive. We'll continue the tour shortly.

As far as cell phone cameras go, mine is great. What the fuck are you talking about?


Anyway, on with the tour.



Here's behind the bar with the house lights on. This be where I stand.

In the bottom area of the photo you'll see some clorox wipes. I believe clorox wipes are the greatest invention man has ever created.



So behind the bar is the kitchen. I don't know what Oopsie is on... I can see this fine.

I cook wings and burgers here for drunk people. They appreciate it. I'm kinda hungry right now.

Check out the badass shitty tile job on the floor. I'm proud of that.



It's a fridge on top of a fridge. Inside the main fridge goes food and stuff. Upper mini fridge is for beer and mixers.

There's some pill bottles for the various medications I'm on which make me awesome incredible.


Here's the back side of the kitchen from the next room..... the laundry room. Wow... kitchen.



Hmm... I'm thirsty.




Here's a cup of ice.

So here's some lime vodka for my lime flavored disaster drink.



mmm... tasty fail.



Here's some lime flavored fail for my lime flavored fail drink.



So, now that I'm hydrated, let's continue the tour. Here's my washing machine. It's a side loader. I hear that washes clothes better or something.



If you look to your right coming out of the kitchen here's a table. Wow... table.



So the next stop is the garage... the garage scares me. See that door? Doesn't it look scary? I find it scary.



Plus... if you found that after opening it... you'd be scared to.

It was my bosses birthday party... and so we have some trash to dispose of.



I was going to take you outside to see the back yard... but it's raining.


So here's Sirusdv's moterbicycle.

There's our third fridge. It holds BBQ meat and ice (we don't have an ice maker. It's absurd. Sirus says he'll hook it up... but he said that in February).


Since we're not going outside... we have to go back through the scary laundry room to garage door. See the sign? I don't want in there!

Forums are acting a fool again... If I end up stopping my tour with no conclusion it's because I gave up.


Anyway, back through the scary door.. time to lock that shit. I'm sorry to whomever I offend with this blurry picture... but I had to show off my l33t locking skills.



Anyway, back inside living room/bar...


We'll be making a right turn soon. My bedroom.



This is where the magic happens.

Or the crying... I can't remember.


Here's the side of my room across from the bed.

Here's looking back at my door towards the living room.



Of course, this is where all of the crying and shame happens. I rule.

Time for sleep. We'll finish the tour tomorrow.