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Rank: Dutchess of Doodoo
Groups: Registered User, Server Admin, WDFNews.com Official Mapper
Joined: 6/3/2006
Posts: 2,239
Points: 330
Location: $L
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Mrs.Crawdad wrote:
As many of you know, I am a high school English teacher.
should get wdfnews tshirts for your whole class. :0
You wanna take this to Fuck Town?
Oh gadzooks, yes!
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Rank: The Fucking Fury
Groups: {pDs} Member, Administration, News Editor, Server Admin
Joined: 5/8/2006
Posts: 609
Points: 120
Location: Seattle, WA
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ESL ftw. I read ALL your private messages.
"I don't want the salami." -WDF
WDF: I told her that she could come over if she brought beer.
Sirus: Wait, you made the recovering alcoholic bring beer?
WDF: This shouldn't surprise you, this is me we're talking about... It'll be a test.
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Rank: Taco Technician
Groups: Registered User, {pDs} Member
Joined: 5/9/2006
Posts: 3,948
Points: 3,636
Location: Hi-Five City
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I just now snuck an "over 9,000" into my essay. I hope she doesn't fact check.
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Rank: Administration
Groups: {pDs} Member, Moderator, Server Admin
Joined: 5/9/2006
Posts: 696
Points: 93
Location: Ohio
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Do you get kids turning in papers in "l33tspeak" or internet grammar form? Does it make blood vessels burst randomly in your head when it happens?
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Rank: Fecal Impaction For the Win!
Groups: {pDs} Member, Registered User, Server Admin
Joined: 1/1/2008
Posts: 1,647
Points: 2,558
Location: Bainbridge Island, WA
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Filliam H. Muffman wrote:For those having trouble writing that 15 page paper, here are a few tricks I used to help add a few extra pages. For the teacher in the clan, I have no guilt using these practices. I feel papers should be graded on content, rather than size. Rather, teachers should say "I don't feel you can adequately discuss the topic in less than 10 pages..." If a student can properly fulfill the assignment in 9, so be it.
Anyways, here are some tricks to lengthen your paper:
-line spacing 2.3
-right margin moved in a notch, might cause a few random sentences to start a new line pre-maturely
-when the paper is complete, drop the bottom line of every page onto the next page
But the best trick of all:
-Using Find and Replace, change the font of all periods, commas, and quotation marks to size 14 (assuming you're using 12). This will expand your paper at an exponential rate. The more punctuation you have to begin with, the greater number of pages added. For example, a 13 page paper becomes 16 or 17 with the effect. Most importantly, it is nearly impossible to tell the difference when printed!
Note: I have never been caught, even with the toughest graders.
This wins. Hard. I wish I'd figured these out in high school, sitting on a 3-page piece of literary art when the assignment is 5 pages. Safety + Peace
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Rank: Fuckstick
Groups: {pDs} Member, Registered User
Joined: 4/7/2008
Posts: 1,109
Points: 2,004
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{pDs}BelligerentPimp wrote:Do you get kids turning in papers in "l33tspeak" or internet grammar form? Does it make blood vessels burst randomly in your head when it happens?
Yes and yes.  Belligerent Pimp wrote: The Man Society just suspended my man card for a week for getting rickrolled by Mrs. Mary Midwestern Housewife.
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Rank: Fuckstick
Groups: {pDs} Member, Registered User
Joined: 4/7/2008
Posts: 1,109
Points: 2,004
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TripleBam wrote:Filliam H. Muffman wrote:For those having trouble writing that 15 page paper, here are a few tricks I used to help add a few extra pages. For the teacher in the clan, I have no guilt using these practices. I feel papers should be graded on content, rather than size. Rather, teachers should say "I don't feel you can adequately discuss the topic in less than 10 pages..." If a student can properly fulfill the assignment in 9, so be it.
Anyways, here are some tricks to lengthen your paper:
-line spacing 2.3
-right margin moved in a notch, might cause a few random sentences to start a new line pre-maturely
-when the paper is complete, drop the bottom line of every page onto the next page
But the best trick of all:
-Using Find and Replace, change the font of all periods, commas, and quotation marks to size 14 (assuming you're using 12). This will expand your paper at an exponential rate. The more punctuation you have to begin with, the greater number of pages added. For example, a 13 page paper becomes 16 or 17 with the effect. Most importantly, it is nearly impossible to tell the difference when printed!
Note: I have never been caught, even with the toughest graders. This wins. Hard. I wish I'd figured these out in high school, sitting on a 3-page piece of literary art when the assignment is 5 pages.
That's priceless - damn, I wish I had known this when I was in college. Would have saved me from adding a bunch of "fluff" to my papers to make them longer. Do I give length requirements? Sometimes. Are they EVER 15 pages? Hell no. The most recent research papers that I am still grading were given the "If your paper isn't at least 3 pages long, it's too short speech," and many of them don't have enough information. It's sad. Do I need to teach the research paper? Yes. Do I like it? Hells no. Belligerent Pimp wrote: The Man Society just suspended my man card for a week for getting rickrolled by Mrs. Mary Midwestern Housewife.
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Rank: Jimmy Hat Jester
Groups: {pDs} Member, Newsie, Server Admin
Joined: 5/16/2006
Posts: 1,796
Points: 81
Location: Dallas
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Mrs.Crawdad wrote:
TripleBam wrote:Filliam H. Muffman wrote:For those having trouble writing that 15 page paper, here are a few tricks I used to help add a few extra pages. For the teacher in the clan, I have no guilt using these practices. I feel papers should be graded on content, rather than size. Rather, teachers should say "I don't feel you can adequately discuss the topic in less than 10 pages..." If a student can properly fulfill the assignment in 9, so be it.
Anyways, here are some tricks to lengthen your paper:
-line spacing 2.3
-right margin moved in a notch, might cause a few random sentences to start a new line pre-maturely
-when the paper is complete, drop the bottom line of every page onto the next page
But the best trick of all:
-Using Find and Replace, change the font of all periods, commas, and quotation marks to size 14 (assuming you're using 12). This will expand your paper at an exponential rate. The more punctuation you have to begin with, the greater number of pages added. For example, a 13 page paper becomes 16 or 17 with the effect. Most importantly, it is nearly impossible to tell the difference when printed!
Note: I have never been caught, even with the toughest graders. This wins. Hard. I wish I'd figured these out in high school, sitting on a 3-page piece of literary art when the assignment is 5 pages.
That's priceless - damn, I wish I had known this when I was in college. Would have saved me from adding a bunch of "fluff" to my papers to make them longer. Do I give length requirements? Sometimes. Are they EVER 15 pages? Hell no. The most recent research papers that I am still grading were given the "If your paper isn't at least 3 pages long, it's too short speech," and many of them don't have enough information. It's sad. Do I need to teach the research paper? Yes. Do I like it? Hells no.
I really used these tricks to manage the 25+ page papers I had to write near the end of my college career. Anyone using these tricks to help push them over their 5 page limit is a wimp. To be honest, you have to write at least 10 pages to see any significant gain using the punctuation trick. Perhaps to help "encourage" your students to write better papers, you can implement mandatory due dates for outlines, minimum research material, rough drafts, etc. They'll hate you, but at least they'll have better grades. edit: and whips, lots of sexy whips. get your ass to mars
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Rank: Fuckstick
Groups: {pDs} Member, Registered User
Joined: 4/7/2008
Posts: 1,109
Points: 2,004
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Filliam H. Muffman wrote:I really used these tricks to manage the 25+ page papers I had to write near the end of my college career. Anyone using these tricks to help push them over their 5 page limit is a wimp. To be honest, you have to write at least 10 pages to see any significant gain using the punctuation trick. Perhaps to help "encourage" your students to write better papers, you can implement mandatory due dates for outlines, minimum research material, rough drafts, etc. They'll hate you, but at least they'll have better grades.
edit: and whips, lots of sexy whips.
I do due dates for each section of the research paper process, including finding sources, notecards, etc. They do hate me, but their papers are alright. The problem now lies in the fact that they don't see due dates as fixed - they are so used to teachers accepting late papers that when they come to my class and try to turn a research paper in late, the 5% off per day really hurts them. Belligerent Pimp wrote: The Man Society just suspended my man card for a week for getting rickrolled by Mrs. Mary Midwestern Housewife.
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Rank: Administration
Groups: {pDs} Member, Server Admin, WDFNews.com Official Mapper
Joined: 5/31/2006
Posts: 3,454
Points: 445
Location: Merryland
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Mrs.Crawdad wrote:
Filliam H. Muffman wrote:I really used these tricks to manage the 25+ page papers I had to write near the end of my college career. Anyone using these tricks to help push them over their 5 page limit is a wimp. To be honest, you have to write at least 10 pages to see any significant gain using the punctuation trick. Perhaps to help "encourage" your students to write better papers, you can implement mandatory due dates for outlines, minimum research material, rough drafts, etc. They'll hate you, but at least they'll have better grades.
edit: and whips, lots of sexy whips.
I do due dates for each section of the research paper process, including finding sources, notecards, etc. They do hate me, but their papers are alright. The problem now lies in the fact that they don't see due dates as fixed - they are so used to teachers accepting late papers that when they come to my class and try to turn a research paper in late, the 5% off per day really hurts them.
my english teacher (before she had her baby) did this, where we had due dates for sections and i think its a lot easier that way because i am a procrastinator and if she didnt do it that way, i might have turned everything in late or i would have been so stressed out the night before that i would have given up.  Cantrip wrote:When I die, I want to be reincarnated as a woman's jogging bra.
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Rank: Fuckstick
Groups: {pDs} Member, Registered User
Joined: 4/7/2008
Posts: 1,109
Points: 2,004
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Dragon wrote:
my english teacher (before she had her baby) did this, where we had due dates for sections and i think its a lot easier that way because i am a procrastinator and if she didnt do it that way, i might have turned everything in late or i would have been so stressed out the night before that i would have given up.
I  you, Dragon! That message made my day. I've been fighting with students and parents all day. Thanks for making me smile! Belligerent Pimp wrote: The Man Society just suspended my man card for a week for getting rickrolled by Mrs. Mary Midwestern Housewife.
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Rank: Administration
Groups: {pDs} Member, Server Admin, WDFNews.com Official Mapper
Joined: 5/31/2006
Posts: 3,454
Points: 445
Location: Merryland
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someone 's me? is this an april fools? Cantrip wrote:When I die, I want to be reincarnated as a woman's jogging bra.
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Rank: Fuckstick
Groups: {pDs} Member, Registered User
Joined: 4/7/2008
Posts: 1,109
Points: 2,004
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Dragon wrote:someone 's me? is this an april fools?
No April Fools. Just a shitty day and wine talking. Belligerent Pimp wrote: The Man Society just suspended my man card for a week for getting rickrolled by Mrs. Mary Midwestern Housewife.
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Rank: The Illuminist
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Joined: 5/8/2006
Posts: 8,410
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Location: Seattle
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Fuck English teachers and their fucking note cards. Those cards were so useless. The invention of computers and "notepad" removed any need for keeping your sources cited on cards wrapped in an ugly, dirty rubber band. And then you had to turn that shit in. Oh lord. Mine would have to be numbered. If one fell out I was fucked. Blarg!
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Rank: Fuckstick
Groups: {pDs} Member, Registered User
Joined: 4/7/2008
Posts: 1,109
Points: 2,004
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WDF? wrote:Fuck English teachers and their fucking note cards. Those cards were so useless. The invention of computers and "notepad" removed any need for keeping your sources cited on cards wrapped in an ugly, dirty rubber band.
And then you had to turn that shit in. Oh lord. Mine would have to be numbered. If one fell out I was fucked.
Blarg!
Belligerent Pimp wrote: The Man Society just suspended my man card for a week for getting rickrolled by Mrs. Mary Midwestern Housewife.
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